By Kevin Oguoko.
I am writing this
reply from the comfort of my couch in my rental 1 bedroom apartment in Umoja 1
while watching TV as well. The site of the light crack on the wall right
behind the TV stand which I have been meaning to talk to the landlord about is however
rather distracting from catching the drama on The Trend show on repeat.
You see like
you, I have to juggle between classes, school assignments, weekly editorial
meetings and actual work during the week so Sunday is the only day I get to
watch this show let alone any TV.
Given the chance
I would have loved to be on any of the local bars, drinking a bottle of Jameson
with my peers. But it’s getting to the mid portion of the month, meaning I have
to watch my budget or I wouldn’t see myself through to the end month.
If I was however
truly drinking that bottie, trust
me I would have Instagrammed that bottle with my friends strategically
surrounding it. But now I can’t have that pleasure because that would be considered
bragging by shallow minded people who use Instagram for those purposes.
I like to think
of Instagram as a photo album. You know, like the way we used to have those enormous
photo albums in our parents' living rooms which were filled with photos from your birthday
party to a loved one funeral in the 90s prior to the digital era. So I use Instagram and Facebook to upload photos
having a good time with my friends on these 1500 bob gigs, which sadly you
disapprove of.
If having fun
has a price tag, then I suggest we as Kenyans give up all together and work our
ass off till we attain Richard Branson status who ironically also comes to the
country to have ‘fun’ in our bushes.
I have come to
learn through you opinion as well that rich men are critical thinkers, have
chivalry, are experienced, well groomed and can manage their alcohol. I didn’t
know you needed to drive a 3 million car to have those.
However I am
rather sympathetic to what you have been through on the hands of these
youngsters you have been on dates with. You know the likes who black out on you
after drinking counterfeit whiskies (which I’m yet to hear of in Kenya), the
ones who brag on endless of their blue Subaru Imprezza, ones who propose a night
of drinks as the ideal first date and ones who pick on you on Twitter.
But could this be
simply a case of meeting and encountering with the wrong people and getting
your taste all twisted up? Presuming that all 29 year olds and below lads exude
these characteristics is just as naive as presuming that these 40 year old
jamaas who drive Benz and are not on twitter do not brag, do not get drunk
silly or worse, cheat on their wives with a string of mpango wa kandos.
It’s rather
unfortunate that I cannot ‘apply’ to be your boyfriend for now given the prescribed
profile you gave. Had a crush on you back when we used to share a
newsroom, I thought your body shape was flattering.
Guess I have no
choice but to be comfortable in my own shoes till then.
